I Will Always Write Back by Caitlin Alifirenka and Martin Ganda

 

      The heartwarming true story of the unlikely friendship between an American girl and an African boy in Zimbabwe will delight your heart and give you hope. I could not put this one down.

    Caitlin met her best friend through letters, when she was in seventh grade. Nobody could have predicted that the friendship would last to this day. Back then, Caitlin lived in Hatfield, Pennsylvania, while Martin Ganda and his family lived in Mutare, Zimbabwe.  

   Everything started with a school assignment in the year 1997. The students in Caitlin’s classroom were asked to write a letter to a student residing in a different country. Caitlin’s classmates picked students in European countries such as Italy, France, England and Germany, but Caitlin’s attention got hooked on “Zimbabwe”, located on the bottom line of the list of names on the blackboard.

  What Caitlin did not know when they started exchanging letters was that culture was not the only difference between them; Martin and his family lived a life of deprivation.

   The name “Zimbabwe” intrigued Caitlin. She was aware that Zimbabwe was a country in Africa, but other than that she knew nothing about it.

  Caitlin was curious to learn about Zimbabwe and was excited to write her first letter to her pen pal, who lived seven thousand miles away from her, on the opposite side of the world. (Seven thousand miles is equivalent to eleven thousand kilometers)

    She searched for information about the mysterious country. Caitlin found out that Zimbabwe had been liberated from the United Kingdom in 1980. The national language was Shona, but most people could speak English.

  That first letter was the beginning of a friendship that would lead to personal growth, knowledge and new life experiences. Caitlin and Martin belonged to different cultures, but their friendship was authentic They supported each other through every setback, roadblock and stressful life situation.

      The chapters written by Caitlin alternate with those written by Martin, so we get to understand their personal perspectives and views. Through their distinct narratives we learn about their lives, hopes and challenges as they grow and change over time.

   The suspense of their interactions builds up when we become aware of the extreme poverty of Martin’s life situation and the fact that, initially, he conceals the truth about his life to protect Caitlin. He may have feared that she would reject him. He did not want to spoil their friendship. Sharing the reality of his situation could have clouded her optimism; he did not want to disappoint her.

  While Caitlin went shopping every weekend and fretted over shallow school drama she shared with Martin, Martin lived a life of deprivation. Martin and his four siblings did not even have a mattress to sleep on. They all slept under their parents’ bed, where they kept the pots and pans during the day. The siblings shared one blanket.

  Martin and his family lived in one room, which they had to share with another family, a curtain separating them to provide a modicum of privacy. They had no running water or electricity.

  After a few letters the school that Martin attended could not provide the money to mail his letters anymore, so to continue the letter exchange he would pay for the mail fees himself… This was not easy considering that his family did not even have enough food to eat on a regular basis. One day Caitlin sent him one American dollar for him to see what it looked like... She would never have guessed that that dollar would save Martin and his family from hunger. One American dollar helped to buy food for two weeks for the whole family, and he was able to pay the postage for his next letter to Caitlin…

 

     The power of free education

   Caitlin knew nothing about Martin’s precarious living situation, but everything changed when Martin’s family could not afford the school fees and he had to drop out of school. His father had lost his job at a paper factory. Furthermore, inflation was getting worse. The cost of living was skyrocketing. Martin was forced to do odd jobs that were not even enough to eke out a living. He did not want to reveal the truth, but, on the other hand, Caitlin needed to receive his letters to be reassured that he was well and that their friendship mattered to him.

  Martin had excelled as a student; his mother had high expectations, so dropping out of school was catastrophic for them. They were heartbroken. He needed to finish high school first, and then after high school he wanted to attend university. That was his dream.

 

   An authentic friendship

   Caitlin’s friends soon lost interest in their European pen-pals, but Caitlin’s and Martin’s friendship stayed strong. Martin became Caitlin’s best friend, and her school peers made fun of her because they assumed that she had a romantic interest in him. This was not the case. Caitlin felt he was like a sibling to her. She expressed this clearly, but her peers constantly mocked her and treated her with disdain. She could tell they were jealous of her friendship with Martin.

    It was uplifting to read how Caitlin and her mother, Anne Neville, ended up supporting Martin and his family. I do not want to spoil it, so I will not share too much about their story.  It should be enough to mention that I will Always Write Back brought tears of joy to my eyes on more than one occasion.

   I think this book should be shared in every school across the United States of America and the world. First of all, I Will Always Write Back may awaken people to the importance of education and to not take education for granted. Secondly, it will remind people everywhere that citizens in other countries have lives, families, feelings, dreams. They are not the "enemy." It makes no sense to cheer for a bully who dehumanizes people from other countries, right?  

   I hope teachers will read my blog post and consider using I will Always Write Back for classroom conversations. Hopefully, students can take a break from playing video games and read books like this one. The world needs more empathy and critical thinking skills.

   Martin has three brothers and one sister whose name is Lois. Lois was also an excellent student and I liked that Martin had faith in her and wanted Lois to continue her education. I do not know what happened with Lois. I hope she is well. Girls face additional challenges in Zimbabwe. In rural areas girls have to travel long distances to school and this can be dangerous. There are various challenges that make everything harder for girls.

   I was impressed by how Anne Neville and Caitlin persevered against all odds to help Martin. There was a situation that appeared to be insurmountable, but eventually the outcome was positive…

   It was interesting to learn about Martin’s culture in Zimbabwe. For example, the members of a family share the clothes they have. It is normal for them to do so.

   There is a lot to process about the story. Do not get discouraged if the first chapters make you angry or impatient. Keep reading because the book will not disappoint you. There are many situations that may enrage you. That is okay. Honesty is necessary to tell a story—any story. I kept thinking about it long after I finished it, and I researched more about Zimbabwe. I still have lots of questions in my head about the current situation in Zimbabwe, so I looked up some information from a UNICEF site.

  

 

Coming of age story

 The whole experience opened up Caitlin’s eyes to a reality that was totally unfamiliar to her. I was impressed by how thoughtful she was when she was determined to help Martin and his family in critical situations. Her kindness made a huge impact on the life of Martin and his family.

  Getting to know Martin and his family transformed Caitlin in many positive ways, and I am thankful that Caitlin and Martin decided to write down their experience and publish it in the form of a book, to share it with the world. They did so with the help of Liz Welch, a professional writer.

   I came across I Will Always Write Back at my local library and I fell in love with it as soon as I began reading it. It is a precious gift to share with others, and I think it is very relevant today. I highly recommend it.

    I will Always Write Back should be shared in schools. It can be included in reading programs and book clubs. It is a book that will interest people of all ages.

   We must inspire students to make choices that align with empathy, respect and cooperation. Bullying and dehumanizing others lead to wars and destruction. Who wants a world consumed by wars and ecological destruction?

  

 

End-of- year message 

 

 It has been a busy year for My Writing Life blog. I hope you had fun visiting this site. I enjoy writing every post, and I hope to continue doing so in 2026. It is not easy. It is a mission that requires work and attention to detail. I do it with love. It is not perfect. Please, understand that I do my best.

 

 If you have read My Writing Life, I have some questions. You do not need to answer these questions directly, but you may want to reflect on them.

 Has My Writing Life made you aware of something important?

Has My Writing Life invited you to reflect on something you’ve never considered before?

 Has My Writing Life inspired you to read a book you did not know about?

Has My Writing Life inspired you to take action to make the world better in some way?

   If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” feel free to share the content of a post with people who may appreciate it. Let’s create ripples of awareness, reflection and inspiration…

   My Writing Life blog supports democratic principles, the freedom to read books and stands up to hate. My Writing Life promotes a love for reading books. Empathy, compassion, and sustainability are essential to make the world a better place. The mission of My Writing Life aligns with this idea.

     I want to share something that happens right now with this blog. Unfortunately, Google stopped indexing my blog posts last August. This means that the blog posts I published over the last four months will not appear in Google searches.

   I contacted Google several times to no avail. I persevere in my attempts to ensure that the blog posts continue to get indexed, but Google ignores my requests. I see that Google has other priorities, like paying for Donald Trump’s “ballroom”. I get it. The content of My Writing Life blog does not align with the interests of the trump regime.  However, I follow all the rules and there is no reason for Google to stop indexing my posts. I don’t think it is fair to make my posts invisible in Google searches.

  Google is one of the most powerful information gatekeepers in the world. By removing information at the request of authoritarian governments, Google has collaborated with authoritarian regimes in the past. You can learn more details on this by reading this reporting here.

  The months prior to the fateful 2024 Presidential election in America Google did not index my blog posts either. My Writing Life blog supports democratic principles and tried to educate the public on the need to prevent the trump regime from materializing, but Google refused to index the posts of My Writing Life: Awareness, Reflection, Inspiration during the months that preceded the presidential election as well. Why? I have no idea.

   Google returned to the same tactic in August 2025, but I have good news for you: I will not be deterred by bullies and corporate greed. The plan is to continue choosing the books I want to read, and I will write about them.  Nobody else selects the books I include in My Writing Life. I am unapologetic about my choices, and I will keep it this way. If you like a blog post, share it. I need support to keep this blog visible. 

What is happening with Google? I do not know, but this article may offer some clues:

 The corruption, terror and violence of the trump regime are deeply disturbing to watch; raising awareness is important.

  I encourage you to support the hard work of independent journalists, so feel free to subscribe to their channels and stay updated. I will share some of their reporting  here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz3cdP1wbhk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiehEMlNiCI

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wJuXDM-kCM

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcXvGnqRLjE

 I think this one needs to be urgently shared:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGEqss3-Ajo

 

   Thank you for visiting My Writing Life: Awareness, reflection, Inspiration.

          Let’s work to make 2026 better than 2025. Every voice matters.

                             Till next year.

 

 

 

 If you enjoyed this post, feel free to read my writing on the following book:

 The Book of Hope 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Invisible Women: Data Bias In A World Designed For Men by Caroline Criado Perez

 

  In the year 2017 the first female head of London’s Fire Brigade, Dany Cotton, suggested that we should replace the term “fireman” with the now standard “firefighter.” As a result of her suggestion, she was flooded with hate mail.

 When in 2013 Caroline Criado Perez campaigned to have a female historical figure on the back of English banknotes some men got so angry that they felt compelled to threaten her with rape, mutilation and death.

 According to an article in The Independent “humans evolved to have an instinct for deadly violence”. The article shared the statements of an academic paper that revealed that “humans have evolved to be six times more deadly to their own species than the average mammal.” A thirty-year analysis of murder in Sweden found that nine out of ten murders are committed by men. Similar statistics were revealed by studies in the United Kingdom, Australia and the United States of America.

   The world and the study of history are designed to fit a male narrative that does not represent women and does not take into consideration the needs of women. The male perspective is seen as universal while the female one is considered the “niche”. Biases that benefit men and ignore women drive policies, research, employment, and other fields. These biases have serious consequences for women’s health, lifestyle, survival, employment, safety and several other factors.

  It is time to wake up to this reality and work to change this dysfunctional situation from the inside out. Caroline Criado Perez’s book is an excellent resource to become aware, to reflect on the topic and to be inspired to promote changes.

   When we hear generalizations about men, we are expected to assume that the statements apply to women as well, but we should not assume that. There are several examples to illustrate this.

  “We call the eighteenth century 'the Enlightenment', even though it only expanded the rights of men and narrowed the rights of women, who were denied control of their property and earnings and barred from higher education and professional training.” Even though women comprise half of the population we are expected to study history from a male perspective and we are expected to repeat information that does not reflect the truth. One example of this is the worn-out statement that Ancient Greece was a “democracy". Why are we forced to repeat the lie that Ancient Greece was a "democracy"? Women were not  allowed to vote in Ancient Greece.

  These biases in favor of men translate into medicine, education, politics and social policies that continue to make women irrelevant despite the fact that they make up half of the population. Let’s examine this topic carefully.

  The accomplishments of women have been ignored or, in many cases, they were attributed to men. For example, textbooks routinely name Thomas Hunt Morgan as the person who discovered that sex was determined by chromosomes rather than environment. Yet it was Nettie Stevens the woman who accomplished this by experimenting with mealworms. The correspondence between them shows she was the one who did the work to prove it.       

 Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin discovered that the sun is predominantly composed of hydrogen, but, not surprisingly, the discovery is credited to her male supervisor.

 Rosalind Franklin was the scientist who researched and described the structure of DNA—not Watson and Crick. Watson and Crick stole her work and took advantage of her discovery. They were the ones who received the Nobel Prize despite the fact that Rosalind Franklin did the work.

   The same happened to several women artists. Their work is consistently undervalued compared to the works of men. I wrote about this in previous posts. Invisible Women provides more examples. 

   The study of history shows that facts have been distorted to benefit men and to disempower women, and to perpetuate the false belief that women are not as competent as men. Therefore, women are often “instructed” to use men as role models in order to succeed. Yet there is no scientific evidence that shows that men are superior to women.

   Women are expected to behave more “like men” to be respected. Why? Research shows that when women “behave like men”, they are often criticized and judged differently, which sets the stage for more biases, stereotyping and unfair discrimination against them. Why are women expected to please others and be "likeable" while men get a free pass to behave like jerks?

 Women as leaders

   Research shows that the potential and achievements of women are neglected to the detriment of society. Research published in 2018 by Boston Consulting Group found that “although on average female business owners receive less than half the level of investment their male counterparts get, they produce more than twice the revenue.” For every dollar of funding, female-owned start-ups generate seventy-eight cents compared to male-owned start-ups, which generate thirty-one cents. Women also perform better over time, generating ten percent more in cumulative revenue over a five-year period. This may be because women are better suited for leadership roles according to a Norwegian study. The BI Norwegian Business School concluded that women were better leaders than men. The study identified the five key traits of a successful leader: emotional stability, extraversion, openness to new experiences, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. Women scored higher than men in four out of the five.

 Extensive research has shown that women are much more likely to make choices that are sustainable for the planet. Women are more likely to care about the environment than men according to the evidence. Don't take my word for it. You can read about this here.

 

 Biases at schools

 Unfortunately, schools teach little girls that they are not as brilliant as boys. Brilliance bias is taught to children at an early age (check page 100 for details):

 “A US study found that when girls start school at the age of five, they are likely as five-year-old boys to think women could be ‘really really smart.’ By the time they turn six, something changes. They start doubting their gender so much that they start limiting themselves.”

 Why I recommend Invisible Women

   Invisible Women is a carefully researched book that provides the statistics to acknowledge that the biases against women are real. Yet our experiences, observations and reflections are never enough, so Caroline Criado Perez put the research together to support our voices. She also adds the stories and experiences of several women to boost the power of her book.

   

 The Myth of Meritocracy

One of the long-standing myths appears to be the one on meritocracy.

  In the 1950s and 1960s there were only one or two female musicians in the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. In the 1970s somebody had the brilliant idea of using a screen for the auditions to select the musicians. That is when the number of female musicians started to go up.

  The biases against women are pervasive and irrational.

“Women are asked to do more undervalued admin work than their male colleagues. If they refuse, they are penalized and considered “unlikeable”. This is a problem across a range of workplaces: women and in particular ethnic minorities do the ‘housekeeping’.”

 The gender double standards influence the way women are perceived and judged by others. For this reason, gender double standards harm women and impact society as a whole.

 “Female professors are penalized if they are not deemed sufficiently warm and accessible, but if they are warm and accessible they can be penalized for not appearing authoritative or professional. On the other hand, appearing authoritative and knowledgeable as a woman can result in student disapproval, because this violates gendered expectations.”

  Men, on the other hand, benefit from what we call positive discrimination toward them. “Less effective male professors routinely receive higher student evaluations than more effective female teachers.”

 An analysis of 14 million reviews on the website RateMyProfessors.com found that female professors are more likely to be labeled as ‘harsh’, ‘unfair’, ‘strict’, ‘mean’ and ‘annoying’. Male professors are more often perceived as ‘brilliant’, ‘intelligent’, ‘smart’ and a ‘genius’.

 

Bias in the news media

 A report from 2015 done by the Global Media Monitoring Project evaluated the world’s print and broadcast media for its representation of women and found that only 24 percent of the persons heard, read about or seen in newspaper, television and radio news were women. They report their findings every five years and it was not different from the report obtained in 2010. I decided to check their latest report. No progress has been made for women and girls in the news media.

 Bias in textbooks

A US study of eighteen widely used high-school history textbooks published between 1960 and 1990 found that pictures of named men outnumbered pictures of named women by a ratio of about 18 to 100 and that only 9 percent of the names in the indexes were women.

 

Unpaid work

Research shows that women do most of the unpaid work that is needed to keep the foundation of society strong. This is not acknowledged or considered in the GDP of a country, but it plays an essential role in society.

 Data showed that in India 66 percent of women’s work time is spent on unpaid labour, while only 12 percent of men’s work is unpaid. In Italy 61 percent of women’s work is unpaid compared to 23 percent of men’s. In France 57 percent of their work is unpaid compared to 38 percent of men’s.

On October 24 1975 most women in Iceland decided to take the day off. They decided that they would do no work. No paid work but also no cooking, no cleaning, no child care. Ninety percent of the women took part in the strike. Twenty-five thousand women gathered for a rally. A year later the country passed the Gender Equality Act, which outlawed sex discrimination in workplaces and schools.

 

 

Why do people take women’s time for granted?

 Just like men, women have bills to pay. They also have family and job responsibilities. Women even volunteer more of their time than men, so why do people think it is okay to ask women to work for no pay? There is nothing “feminist” about expecting women to work for free.

 Women have a right to their time and they have no obligation to please others.

  When I stopped allowing comments on my blog ten years ago to avoid wasting my time on bullies, a follower decided she would not follow my blog anymore. I explained to her that I had no time to deal with bullies and she told me that I was supposed to scan the comments first and then decide if I would publish them or not. (Yes! Men are not the only ones who love to mansplain women). Why did she assume that I had so much time in my hands? Again, why do people out there take women’s time for granted?

 I am convinced that this womam would not have stopped following my bog if I had been a man. She would have been more understanding if the author of My Writing Life blog would have been a man. 

 Have you also noticed how people are always ready to "forgive" men when men make mistakes? I do not see the same attitude toward women. Why? Women are human beings too. Why do we need to remind people that women are human beings who also deserve respect? 

Women in the healthcare system

There is a chapter about how women’s symptoms are consistently disregarded, and how their medical conditions go undiagnosed for too long because the medical system does not care enough about their complaints. There are statistics as well as several experiences shared by women.

Caroline Criado Perez did a great job of revealing the gender disparities in the medical field, both in healthcare and research.

 

Women in pandemics, natural disasters and wars

Caroline Criado Perez shares staggering statistics and stories about how women are treated under these precarious conditions. Chapter 16 is entitled “It is not the disaster that kills you”. I highly recommend it. Read every page.

 Violence against women increases in the chaos and social breakdown that accompany natural disasters. I was shocked to learn that several women after hurricane Katrina were sexually assaulted. To make matters worse, during Hurricane Katrina local rape centers had to close.

 “The data gap when it comes to sexual abuse is compounded in crisis settings by powerful men who blur the lines between aid and sexual assault.”

  In Sri Lanka swimming and tree climbing are predominantly taught to men and boys. When the December 2004 tsunami hit, men and boys were better able to survive. The tsunami killed four times more women than men. There is also social prejudice in Bangladesh against women learning to swim.

 

 Awards and recognition

Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez was the winner of 2019 Royal Society Science Book Prize; it was the finalist for the LA Times Book Prize and the Orwell Prize. It was also longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medals for Excellence in Nonfiction.

 In June 2023 research showed that nine men and women out of ten across the world are biased against women.  It is only through awareness that we can change this dysfunctional situation. We all prefer to live in a world where compassion and respect prevail, so let's acknowledge that these biases are not healthy. 

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check my writing on the following books:

 

Anne of Avonlea

Not my Type

Lessons in Chemistry

 100 Plants to Feed the Birds

Relevant links:

https://theflame.su.ualberta.ca/en/blog/2023/05/05/sustainability-is-womens-work-why-a-sustain-su-blog-post/

https://hdr.undp.org/content/2023-gender-social-norms-index-gsni?_gl=1*fbvl05*_ga*OTYwMzU3NjQuMTY4NjU3NTgzMw..*_ga_3W7LPK0WP1*MTY4NjU3NTgzMy4xLjEuMTY4NjU3NjE3MS4yLjAuMA..#/indicies/GSNI