Sunday, October 27, 2013

Autumn is my spring


 Autumn is my spring, a time of rebirth. Like an ocean wave, all those beautiful colors conjure up the memories of him, and he was the one who taught me so much about life.

He taught me that no matter what I go through, I can survive, physically and emotionally.
He taught me about inner strength and peace.
He gave me the most blissful memories and the saddest ones.
He taught me how fragile life is.
He showed me how my co-workers could behave like  a family to me.
He made me a mother for the first time.
He only lived nine months inside my body but he taught me not to judge other peoples' pain. He taught me about compassion.

  If you've never been inside the body and mind of a woman who was pregnant for nine months and then lost her baby,  don't tell her how she has to feel or what she has to do.
  If you come across a woman who lost her baby, don't tell her that she can have another one. Babies are not objects to be replaced.
 
   He was my son and he was gone too soon, but he taught me so much about life...
    I don't have the answers to all the questions, but I can say that autumn is my spring.
 
     "A mother never forgets."

34 comments:

  1. There's poetry even in your sorrow.

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    1. Thanks. This is not a post I would normally write. Let's say it is the exception to the rule.

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  2. Your sorrow is deep. Halfway through reading the poem, I remembered I too, had lost a son, long, long, long ago and I thought, time has healed, at least for me. Then I read the ending and didn't know if time worked the same for all people. At the time I thought he changed his mind but that he later returned in the soul of a sibling.Yes, life is so very fragile and I read through your thoughts again and again.

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    1. Thanks for sharing the experience of losing your child.
      Grief is a personal journey. I simply had the need to honor my baby. Love does not die. Love is eternal. True love is eternal.
      Each baby is precious. To me, each baby is unique and deserves to be remembered just like any other member of the family.
      Our first baby was destined to leave earlier but his short life had an impact on life, and continues to have an impact. A positive impact.

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    1. Thanks, Elizabeth.
      I like to remind people that this baby was also associated with happy memories.

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  4. I am so very sorry for this loss, Julia. I send you hugs. xo

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    1. Thanks, Nellie.
      He continues to bring transformation to my life.
      I know I am a better mother to my child thanks to him. I appreciate every minute with my daughter even when the road gets challenging.

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  5. Dear Julia,

    Through the sadness is the cherished gift bestowed upon you and you knew, more than ever, how life must be treasured.

    Your words, profound. I am deeply touched and deeply sorry.

    In kindness and hugs,

    Gary

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    2. Gary, my friend, I am honored to read your words. I feel good to know that you understood my message.
      But I knew you would understand it.

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  8. Hi Julia .. I'm sure a mother never forgets - such sorrow ... so very sad

    Beautifully and eloquently expressed ... with many thoughts and some big hugs - Hilary

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    1. Thank you, Hilary.
      I woke up at four with these words in my head for some mysterious reason. I knew I had to type them here.
      Hugs and thank you for reading them.

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  9. Julia: I sincerely believe we are all connected. I am deeply saddened.

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    1. We are connected, and everything is connected.
      I know you know what I mean.

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  10. Oh, so very sad. My sympathies seem miniscule compared to the loss, but I give them anyway.

    Thanks for your good wishes on Klanhanie's blog about my cover reveal. I really appreciate them.

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    1. Thanks, Lexa.
      Welcome to my blog. I wish you all the best with your book.

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  11. That's a tough place from which to generate inspiration, but well done for searching for any kind of gift there and sharing it.

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    1. It is about growth and sharing. A life can be very short, but it is still meaningful.
      Thanks, Claire.

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  12. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a baby.

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    1. Thanks, Misha.
      Unfortunately, some people think they know and say insensitive things. Things they would not tell somebody who has lost a spouse or a sibling or a friend.

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  13. I'm so sorry for your loss, Julia. I can't begin to understand what this must be like. Bless you x

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    1. Thanks, Sharon.
      I certainly would not know about it if I had not gone through this myself. I have come to accept this reality was part of my destiny and my life. It is part of who I am.

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  14. Oh no! I am so sorry. :-( Please take care
    x

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    1. Thanks, Old Kitty. I wrote this from a place of acceptance and healing.
      I want people to be more understanding when they come across somebody who has lost a baby.

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  15. Julia, my heart goes out to you. Your baby son was gone much too soon and I know the pain is deep. I wasn’t able to have children, which has been my greatest sorrow, but I can understand the heartache. Your prose about what he taught you is a beautiful tribute to your son. Hugs to you! May autumn always be your spring.

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    1. Jersey. Thank you for your message my friend.
      Your comment means a lot to me.
      I'm so sorry to hear about the pain of not being able to have babies. Sending you lots of hugs your way, Jersey.

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I appreciate each and every comment. Thank you.