The loss of
a son or a daughter is a devastating, life-transforming experience for which
nobody is prepared, and when the loss happens as a result of suicide the
confusion may be even greater.
No words can relieve the pain. Along with the
vastness of such an emptiness, the love in a parent’s heart stays alive, and
the relationship with the lost child is as unique as each person’s life
journey.
“Every day I create a bond between us. I
write the story of his life and death. I write to remember,” Hanna Granot
wrote.
Doron
was only nineteen years old when he ended his life, twenty years ago. His
mother spent ten years writing Just Five Minutes with You, My Son. Doron
was a happy, optimistic person, so his suicide shocked everybody. Hanna was
determined to examine his life in search for answers.
“I set out on the journey into Doron’s life
to find healing, consolation and insights into our loss of him.”
Reading Hanna’s book has been a very emotional
experience. Immersing myself in Doron’s childhood was magical. The questions
and reflections he expressed when he was a child cast a spell on me. From his
interactions with one of his teachers and parents I perceived his giftedness.
It was
unsettling and painful for me to learn that at age nineteen his military duties
had chronically deprived him of the sleep hours he needed to maintain his
health. Today we know that regular sleep is an essential part of the foundation
of mental health.
“Just Five Minutes with You, My Son” celebrates Doron's life and reflects on various
aspects of grief and love. It is a source of support, comfort and understanding
to parents who have lost a child. It is also a resource for those who want to genuinely
support others in similar situations.
One
aspect of the book that enchanted me was the way she travels with her
imagination through time, and to various places. She also dives into her son’s
mind and even creates imaginary situations. For example, she wrote an imaginary
conversation between Doron and Anne Frank.
This book is a reminder that it is okay to not
be okay. It may encourage people to seek help at times of crisis, for it sheds
light on the helplessness of the loved ones who are left with all the
questions.
Nobody is immune to such a tragedy.
I appreciate Hanna’s courage and the insights
she shares, a result of the wisdom that emerges from the depths of bereavement:
"I
understand that the pursuit of perfection is misguided at its very core. There
is nothing immaculate in our world."
I thank Hanna Granot for trusting me with her
book. “Just Five Minutes with you, My
Son” may help save lives, and it may kindle a light to connect people through understanding and kindness.
