“Don’t
follow the flow. Be the flow.” From the book The Forty Rules of Love
by Elif Shafak
I was fascinated
by one of the characters in this philosophical novel: Shams of Tabriz. I
enjoyed every minute of his interactions with others until something happened
that made my hair stand on end. Falling in love with Rumi led him to do
something cruel and stupid.
Shams
of Tabriz was a Persian poet, a wanderer, a Dervish who lived in the thirteenth
century in the Middle East. He is credited with turning Rumi into a poet. Shams
was not afraid of speaking truth to power. He did not waste time on
pleasantries; he viewed gossip with contempt.
One of his talents was to see through people, and he had visions…
I liked him because he was never misled by
bigots, and he evaluated situations and people with fresh eyes without being
influenced by gossip. His intelligence and introspective nature enabled him to
defeat the bigots through the peaceful power of his words, and so they hated
him. By diving into the truth, he cared to expose the light that the
bigots refused to see.
Rumi was a popular scholar and a privileged
member of society, but he felt that something was missing in his life. There
was some kind of void. When Shams met Rumi, they discovered that they shared a
kind of profound spiritual connection. Close to the end
of this novel, however, Shams did something cruel and outrageous. He married a
fifteen-year-old girl. Shams, a sixty-year-old man married Kimya, a gifted
fifteen-year-old girl. (I will share more about this later in the post).
In The Forty Rules of Love there are
two stories that run parallel to each other. One is the story of Ella. The
other one is the story of Rumi and Shams. Ella is as boring as a neat, tidy
garden loaded with pesticides and herbicides. I am not judging her as a person
here. I am simply stating that after reading the first chapter of the novel I
wanted to stop reading it because I was not interested in reading her story. Her
husband, David, cheats on Ella and she accepts it as part of her marriage. It is
presented as a normal part of their relationship. Let’s not feign surprise
here. A man cheating on his wife is
acceptable and normal in the eyes of seventy-seven million people in America. The
only reason I continued reading the novel was the number of positive reviews I
had encountered. I was intrigued.
Ella is the mother of three children
and she has been offered a job at a literary agency. As part of her job, she is
expected to read unpublished books and write reports about them. Her new
assignment is to read a novel titled Sweet Blasphemy, which had been
written by a Scottish man who had become a Sufi. His name is Aziz. Because of
this assignment Ella writes to Aziz, and they start exchanging emails.
The chapters of the novel alternate between the chapters about Ella’s life and
the chapters of Sweet Blasphemy, a novel about the life of Rumi and
Shams of Tabriz. In the chapters about Ella’s life, we follow the spontaneous
interaction between Ella and Aziz, which takes place through emails.
Both stories unfold in different time periods.
Rumi and Shams of Tabriz lived during the thirteenth century, and they meet for
the first time in Konya, Turkey, in the year 1244. Ella’s story takes place in
2008 in the state of Massachusetts. Azis lives in Amsterdam.
The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
is a philosophical novel that narrates two different stories in
alternating chapters. Yet these stories are analogous to each other, even though they
happen in different time periods. I invite the readers to become aware of
the synchronicities of these two stories. The analogy responds to the theme of the
novel: the fact that everything is interconnected; the idea that we are one.
This idea is well summarized in the following quote by Shams of Tabriz:
“The universe is one being. Everything and
everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are
aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice
compassion. And do not gossip behind anybody’s back—not even a seemingly
innocent remark.”
What I
loved about the novel
The synchronicity and harmony between the two
stories kindle a sense of wonder in the reader. The reflections of the novel
and the so-called “rules” of love are the gist of the novel. They provide the core
upon which the stories hinge. The thought-provoking revelations do not sound preachy because they harmonize with the situations that arise. These
reflections are an invitation to discuss topics that affect our present. They
can generate introspective conversations and raise awareness on social issues
that pervade society.
I wrote down many of the quotes because
I like to share them and I enjoy revisiting them. They can be a source of hope and inspiration.
I encourage you to seek them yourself. I will be keeping many of them in my
notebook, like hidden treasures.
Here’s
one of relevance today:
“There
are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars
in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with
true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your intention to
himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration
from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self.
True mentors are as transparent as glass.”
Let me share more quotes by Shams here:
“There is
only one kind of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the
stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body
through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.”
There are several different characters in Sweet Blasphemy. One of them is Desert Rose, a sex slave in Tonya, Turkey. The author refers to her as a “harlot”. She should have referred to her as a sex slave instead. I did not like that the author did not use the proper word. Think about the implications of referring to a sex slave as a "harlot". The influence of a patriarchal society in the author’s words is clear.
When Desert Rose tried to escape from the brothel, she
did not get much support. In response to this situation, she offered the
following reflection:
“Some people feed on the miseries of others
and they don’t like it when there is one less miserable person on the face of
the earth…”
Desert Rose risked her life to recover her
freedom. This is an example of strength and resilience.
Now think about how many people are okay with
the existence of sex slaves in this world. Think about how some powerful people
support the trafficking of sex slaves and cover up for pedophiles and you will
agree with Desert Rose. It is not difficult to see that people who cover up and
facilitate this exploitation normalize the objectification of women and girls. It
is also sad and tragic that the author does not use the word “sex slave”.
There
are many thought-provoking statements in The Forty Rules of Love. I
appreciate the insights into the behavior of religious bigots. For example, Shams
said, “Instead of losing themselves in the love of God and waging a war against
their ego, religious zealots fight other people, generating wave after wave of
fear.”
Here’s a reflection on patience:
“Patience
does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust
the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the
thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn.”
What I did not like about the novel
If Rumi was so enlightened, why didn’t he let
Kerra have access to his books? I get it. He lived in the Middle Ages, but even
in the Middle Ages, I would not have expected a fifteen-year-old gifted girl to
“fall in love” with a sixty-year-old man who could have been her grandfather.
The author of the novel tries to make us believe that Kimya fell in love with
Shams, a sixty-year-old man. The fact that the novelist shows us that Kimya was
so deeply in love with Shams is a clear indicator of how powerful the
patriarchy influenced Elif Shafak’s writing. She also wants to make us believe
that the words “beating a wife” can mean something reasonable and acceptable.
No, Elif, I disagree with your word salad on the matter. Beating a wife means beating
a wife, so do not try to manipulate the readers into believing something
different.
Shams did not love Kimya back, but he had no
problem humiliating her, so how enlightened was Shams? This was truly
nauseating. The unhealthy attachment between Shams and Rumi led to the suffering
of others. Furthermore, divine love is not about physical attachment, which was
evident in the relationship between Shams and Rumi. Divine love is about
understanding, compassion, empathy, respect, dignity and freedom.
The
fact that children are still forced to marry men and the fact that girls and
women continue to be trafficked and abused should be a reason to shock people,
but the truth is that too many people participate in this, which is why this
still happens. Also, the word “harlot” is not the same as sex slave. I did not
find a single review stating this.
Seeing
Desert Rose teach Kimya how “to win Shams’ s heart” was deplorable and
humiliating in many ways, but I will let the readers read about this and reach
their own conclusions.
Ella trusted a stranger in a way that made me uncomfortable. I think this aspect of the story is overrated. However, it is understandable that novels are fiction, and, for this reason, they can present unlikely scenarios and situations that may be extremely rare in real life. Also, the email exchange is referred to as an “affair” even though there was no evidence of “an affair” when they exchanged emails. What did I miss here? David Rubinstein, on the other hand, had affairs-real affairs- but the author does not even care to explore that part of the story. I did not like this. What happened with David? Yet the author refers to a simple email exchange between Ella and Aziz as an “affair”.
What is wrong
about two human beings exchanging emails? That does not make it an affair. Ella
eventually meets Aziz in-person. That is another phase of their
relationship that should not even be considered an “affair” because Ella had
already told David that she loved Aziz.
Last but not least, it is annoying and
disappointing that the women in this novel seem to need the input of a man to
be inspired and encouraged to change in constructive ways. Apparently, Elif
Shafak does not believe that women are clever enough to do so without the feedback of men. Again, the patriarchy did a “good job” influencing the writing of this novel.
Conclusion
The Forty Rules of Love is a philosophical novel with
thought-provoking insights and reflections that have the potential to dissolve
the provincial attitudes and behaviors that keep the world stuck in patterns of
injustice and inequities. The way the two stories unfold creates a sense of
wonder and intrigue that makes the read engrossing. Unfortunately, the
influence of the patriarchy is present like a shadow in this novel, even though
the author tries to convince us that the women were “transformed”. On the one
hand, the author expresses brilliant ideas and insights, but on the other, she
sabotages those ideas by assigning more wisdom, power and authority to men and
by choosing words that demean women. In many cases she portrays them in
ludicrous situations that do not represent their true selves.
Did Ella follow the flow or was Ella the
flow? Read The Forty Rules of Love
and reach your own conclusions.
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